Into the Light
by Macy3287
Summary: This is my first ever FanFiction. I do not own anything. This is eventual Burzek based off 7x13 and the events afterward. Please excuse any mistakes. Never experienced a miscarriage so not professing to know how it feels.
1. Chapter 1

Into the light Chapter 1

Molly's was pretty packed considering it was only Wednesday. I just needed to get out of my head for a few hours. It has been a week since we lost the baby. I've been staying with Kim temporarily to help her deal. It was only supposed to last a night, I insisted on staying longer Knowing it was more for me than her at the beginning. I don't think she is coping as well as she think she is. She refuses to talk about what happened when she lets slip that she's thinking about it she keeps going back-and-forth on what the right decision was about going into that room .

I see the rest of the team walking in after the case they've just been working. I wanted to be gone before they came.

Atwater walks up to me. "Hey man, Didn't think I'd see you here. Herman, Can I Get two beers over here?"  
"No man, I'm good. "Adam replies. "Ah dawg, Come on we want to hear how you're doing? I know it's got to be rough man."  
"Yeah it is but it's worse for Kim."  
"Yeah, it was your baby too you need to grieve ."  
"And I will once Kim gets through this. " Adam gets up to leave. "Sorry man,tell everyone else I had to go, have a good night. "

Kevin just watches as he walks out the door.

I unlocked the door to Kim's apartment, it's dark. I assume she's already in bed and sleeping but I see a Light underneath her door. I knock on her door, "Kim are you awake?" I get no response, This seems par for the course lately. I go to my room and close the door as I lay on the bed, I hear her crying. This is killing me, I know she needs me but I don't know why I keep doing this to myself.

I plug in my phone and check my Messages one last time. There is one from Hailey. "Hey wanted to see how you were doing?" Do I reply? Am I reading into this or is it strictly friendly? "Not great. How was the last case?" "Sorry to hear that. The usual stuff. If you ever want to talk feel free to reach out." "Thanks, I might take you up on that." "Anytime. Night Adam."  
"Night."

Would it be good to lose myself in this again? I don't think Kim would even notice.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It's my first day back to work. I feel as though I am on auto pilot. I shower and get dressed eat breakfast pack my lunch. Adam throws off the Routine. He is in the way always trying to make sure I'm Ok. I guess its sweet, I just am not sure how I feel about it. I want to try but it's just a reminder of what we lost.

I am still in a fog as I trudge up the back steps into the bullpen. I want to avoid Trudy as long as possible. She will just ask me how I am doing and I can't handle it if another person asks.

I saunter to my desk after leaving my bag in the locker room. No one else is here yet. I guess another conscious decision on my part.

Voight calls me into his office.

"Hey Kim, I'm sorry again for your loss."

"Thanks sarge."

"You ready?"

"Yes, sir. I just want to get back to normal."

"Good, we will ease you in."

Kim walked back to her desk as the rest of the team filed in. Everyone pats her on the shoulder as they make their way in. She sees Adam out of the corner of her eye. She is glad he doesn't attempt to comfort her here.

Adam went straight to his desk while giving Kim the side eye. He knew going up to her wouldn't earn him any points. He has finally admitted she has shut him out. He doesn't know how to reach her.

Adam's gaze goes unnoticed,to everyone but Hailey. Adam feels someone watching him and he looks to Hailey. She gives a small smile to him. He smiles back. Screw it, Adam thinks. He shoots hailey a message from across the room.

"Your offer still stand to talk?"

"Of course. Where and when?"

"My place, tonight around 7?"

"See you then."

By 9 am they caught a case, thank god. The tension was so thick in the bullpen you could cut it with a knife. Everyone wasn't sure how to act around Kim and Adam.

Adam could tell Kim wasn't loving easing into it. She was stuck in the surveillance van with Voight while everyone else was out in the field with guns out.

Kim hated this she just wanted to be normal. She wanted to go big or go home.

The case wrapped up relatively quickly for a change. It was 6 and some people were wrapping up paperwork and getting ready to head out. Kevin, Jay and Rojas headed out first talking about Molly's which left Kim, Adam and Hailey.

Hailey finished handing her files into Voight and gave Adam a look saying she would meet him at his place on her way out. Leaving just Adam and Kim alone.

Kim was stuck compiling all the case notes from the individual reports so she would be there later than everyone else.

Adam left Voight's office and checked in with her one last time before heading out to meet Hailey.

"You did good today." Adam says as he perches himself on the corner of Kim's desk.

"Yeah, great. Sitting in the van watching all the action." Kim says avoiding his eyes.

"You ok?" Adam asks one last time.

"Yeah." Kim replies

"Ok, I'll see you later." Adam squeezes her shoulder as he gets up to leave.

He pauses mid air as Kim speaks again.

"Adam, you really don't have to keep staying with me."

"Do you want me pack my stuff up?"

"I think I do. I am ready."

"Oh, ok. I Will grab everything this weekend. I'll stay at my place tonight."

"Thank you, for everything." There is so much meaning in that everything. Allowing that life to exist for the short time that it did and for being there for her even while she pushed him away.

"Sure, When you are ready, I'm here Kim."

Kim just nods. The guilt of not letting him in eats at her. She just doesn't know how to explain it to him.

Adam left her staring at all the case files.

He walks back to the locker room just drained. He scrubs his face with his hands. He gets his bag and heads down the back stairs to his car.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hi guys, thanks for bearing with me on this story. This story is burzek as end game but fair warning there will be some detours. I have updated the rating on this story just in case. Please review and let me know what you think.

* * *

He sees Hailey's Jeep outside his place as he pulls up. Hailey gets out when she sees Adam pull up. He smiles when he sees her, she brought beer and a pizza. He didn't even think of grabbing anything, he had spent so much time at Kim's place he didn't remember what was in his fridge.

"Hey smart thinking, I don't even know what I have in my fridge. "

"I figured. " laughs Hailey.

They walked into Adams place. It was the one he had hinted at one day living with her in, Hailey smiles at the thought.

They dump everything on the island, as Adam opens his fridge to see what he has in there. Shockingly, he has a full six pack.

He pulls his head out the fridge victorious. "Ah ha, I do have some in here."

Hailey scrunches her nose. "Are they even good still?"

Adam scowls questionably. "Probably not, I don't even remember the last time I bought beer, I was doing the sober thing in support of Kim."

Hailey awkwardly looks at her feet, unsure how to comment on that. She just nods her head and looks back up at Adam.

Their eyes lock.

"Sorry." Adam says.

"Adam, it's ok it's why I am here, you need someone to listen."

He nods. "Yeah it sucks. I already loved that baby. I mean I get how this is hard for Kim and I know she tried to stay out of that motel room, but I think I am bit angry that she even was out looking. I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing in her situation though."

"Yeah, you two seem to be cut from the same cloth in that regard." Hailey thought back to their argument over the Antonio incident.

Adam just nods, "yeah, we respect each other's job decisions. It's everything else that we couldn't figure out." Eluding to Kim and his breakup.

"Had you ever thought about kids before this?" Hailey asks curiously.

"In the grand scheme, yeah it was just something that would happen eventually. Actually having it happen was something else. It was shocking but I was happy and all in, I wanted to be there for my kid."

Hailey looks at him longingly. Both of them knowing about each other's youth, she gets it. He wanted his child to have a different childhood than him.

All she can manage is a half choked "yeah."

"Have you ever thought about them?" Adam asks. How had this never come up when they were together?

"Once upon a time I did." She knew she probably should have told him about her experience but wasn't ready to open those wounds up again.

"And now?"

"I don't think it's in the cards for me." The undercover op with Garrett was the last time she had thought about kids. She had begged her Sargent at the time to leave that piece of the medical records out of her case file.

Adam just nodded, as he took a pull on his beer. She clearly didn't want to talk about it.

"I think I'm just upset that Kim isn't considering my feelings. That baby was mine too. I know she experienced something horrible but so did I. If she would just let me in we could help each other through it."

Hailey smiled, she wasn't surprised at the rapid change of topics. That was Adam, if you waited long enough he would spew what was bothering him.

"She is still not letting anyone in, hey? "

"No, I don't know how much more I can do to get her to open up."

Hailey filed this information for later. She might have to reveal her situation to get through to Kim.

"It has to be on her terms, unfortunately. "

Adam sighed and nodded.

"Let's dig into this pizza. I think there is a Blackhawks game on."

* * *

Adam woke with a start, it took him a minute to realized he was at his place. He glanced at the clock 4:00 am. His chest felt heavy and he looked down to see an arm draped across it. He looked at the pillow next to him. Shit, it was Hailey. He ran a hand over his face. Judging from the pounding of his head that second six pack or more must have been good. He double checked his alarm was set for 6 and fell back asleep.

Hailey woke up just after Adam had fallen back asleep. Shit not again. Why did they keep going to each other? She slowly untangled herself from Adam as she tried to maneuver out of bed without waking him.

She found her underwear and slipped them on. Slowly backing out of his room following the trail of clothes back to the kitchen living room area. By the look of the coffee table and kitchen island they had had way more than 6 beer. She quickly re dressed herself and slipped out the front door.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Mature scene ahead, if you are not a fan please skip ahead. This is depicted in italics as a flashback. Also, it looks like there isn't an episode until the crossover, can someone comment on that?

* * *

Kim woke up with her alarm and it was eerily quiet for a change. She wasn't sure how she felt about it yet. She laid there in bed trying to slowly wake up, her hand went to her lower abdomen and rested there for a minute before it came back. There was no baby. She quickly moved her hand away, she cursed herself for forgetting. She couldn't cry anymore, She was cried out.

She sleepily made her way into the kitchen for coffee, real coffee. Part of her felt guilty, like she should still be drinking decaf, just in case. She knew it was silly but couldn't help but still imagine. For not being sure she wanted this baby in the beginning, she had very quickly changed her mind.

Her and Adam were in a good place. After their talk she realized what she had been doing to him. She just wanted to protect her heart and she knew once she opened the door she wouldn't be able to hold back.

Now the guilt of shutting him out was eating away at her. He missed out seeing his baby for the first time and hearing the life of its heartbeat, the first and last for her. She knew he was in as soon as she decided to keep the baby. She could see the look of relief on his face when she told him, that scared the hell out of her but also gave her hope.

That hope may have been the reason that she suggested the co habitation, co parenting scenario. She could understand why other people would think it were crazy. She hadn't even thought about how it would work if one of them started seeing someone else, she hoped it wouldn't happen. She just wasn't ready to deal with her feelings for Adam but wanted to keep him close, as selfish as that sounded.

Crap, she looked at the time, she had gotten lost in thought longer than she realized.

She had to scramble to get to work now.

* * *

Kim barrelled up the stairs to the district, dropped her duffel in her locker and jogged into the bullpen.

Rojas was pinning up a photo of the latest victim of a gang related shooting to the whiteboard.

Voight just nodded in her direction when he saw her come in.

She nods back.

Adam glances at Kim as she listens intently to Rojas and Kevin's rundown of the victim and particulars of the case.

He switches his focus back to the board but his thoughts and eyes begin to wander and land on Hailey.

He smiles as the night before starts to come back to him in pieces.

* * *

_The Blackhawks game was long over, the multiple beer bottles that were discarded, lay precariously on his coffee table. With a random fast and furious playing on tv for the background for noise._

_Hailey had got up to go to the washroom, so Adam grabbed a few bottles and brought them into the kitchen along with the now empty pizza box._

_As Hailey made her way back to the kitchen to help tidy up, Adam pulled out the bottle of bourbon._

_"Woah, not sure that's a good idea." She says as she hops up on the counter._

_"Ah, it's still early." He smiles and shrugs glancing at the clock._

_Hailey smiles and shakes her head at him. "I'm going to have to take an Uber home."_

_He sets down the glasses next to Hailey's thigh and pours two fingers in each glass._

_They both down their glasses in quick succession._

_"You can stay in the spare room, then you don't have to get your car later." Adam simply states as he refills the glasses._

_"You sure that's a good idea?" Hailey questions as she downs the next glass._

_"It's already made up, no worries." Adam refills her glass._

_"Adam, you know that's not what I mean..."_

_Adam takes the rest of his drink before speaking, almost as if contemplating his next words._

_"Hail, you and I both know we ended us because of how we felt for other people. Sure, the job and being in the same unit complicated us as well but the primary reason were the other people."_

_Hailey gulps down the drink feeling it burn on the way down._

_"Am I that transparent?"_

_Hailey notices that both glasses are once again refilled._

_"Ha, you hide it well. Either he is a complete idiot or hasn't admitted it to himself yet either."_

_Adam finishes off his drink. Not loving this conversation._

_"I think you need to put that bottle away. Ug, difficult conversations and rapid shots do not make a good combo." Hailey laughs._

_"Yeah, guess you are right." Adam smiles. He brings his head up and looks at her from under his long lashes._

_He pushes off the counter behind him and places his hands on either side of Hailey, trapping her on the counter and leaving very little space between the counter and Adams body._

_"Hailey, I just want to say thank you for tonight. It was good to feel normal, that seems like an odd word to use but I don't know how else to explain it."_

_Hailey nods. "Anytime, you know I care about you." She lifts her hand to the side of his face to cup his cheek as his head is looking down at something very interesting at his feet._

_Adam raises his head when he feels her hand on his cheek. He is searching for some sign in her eyes. Hailey gives a soft smile and presses her fingers slightly into the back of Adams._

_They were both hesitant at first but as Hailey's lips softened Adam forgot everything but the moment._

_Hailey's hands wrap themselves around Adams neck. As Adam moves his right hand to thread through Hailey's hair, while the other goes to her hip and pulls her closer to the edge of the counter. Adam is wedged between Hailey's thighs now._

_Both of them pull back just enough to catch their breath, realizing this was going down a slippery slope. They look at each other as their breathing evens out._

_Hailey reaches for Adam first, one hand clutching a fist full of his shirt and the other_ _pulling him closer. As the kiss heats up, Hailey is rocking against Adams groin. His belt buckle hitting her just right, she lets out a small moan._

_They both pull back and Hailey is quick to pull Adams shirt up and reach for his belt buckle, undoing it with one hand while the other, is pulling Adams head closer to hers to deepen the kiss._

_Adam's hands are snaking their way up Hailey's shirt. Gently skimming along her ribs and then slowly slinking their way under her bra, grazing the skin right below her nipple. His fingers push into the cup as he breaks the kiss to move to her neck, Hailey's breath comes out as if she were panting._

_Adam pulls back far enough to pull her shirt over her head, he then does the same to his own. Adam's pants were halfway down his legs, Hailey's hair a mess from having Adam's fingers weaved through it._

_Adam lunges back into the kiss, attacking her mouth. He has never needed an escape more than he does now._

_Hailey is along for the ride, she knows what this is for him and maybe she needs it too. Physically, Adam and her were always good together, why not enjoy it._

_She can feel his hand go to her button on her pants, she hears the pop and zip and feels as Adam's hand slowly slides into her pants. Hailey manages a strangled cry as she pulls back just long enough to mutter a throaty "bedroom."_

* * *

Little does he know, Kim is watching him, watch Hailey.

Kim catches Adam's movement out the corner of her eye. She follows his eyes and sees them stop on Hailey. She knows the grin he has on his face. He used to look at her like that the morning after.  
She hopes the shock isn't evident on her face. She panics at the thought and prays that no one notices.

How did things get like this between them?

Oh man, she missed the whole briefing.

"Hailey, Jay get in touch with gangs see what they have on these guys. Rojas and Ruzek, get knocking on some doors see what we can find out. Atwater and Kim reach out to your CI's, see what they know."

Voight barks out the tasks for the day.

Thank god Voight put her with Atwater, he would catch her up.

Kim and Kevin head out to their car, scrolling through their contacts to see who would be best to head to first.

Kevin breaks the silence.

"How you doing, Kim?"

"I'm tired of answering that question. How do you think I am doing?" Kim sighs exasperated.

"Fair point. I'll leave it alone, just know I am here if you need to talk."

Kim's tone softens as she replies "I know, Kev. I appreciate it, thanks."

"Anytime, Anytime."

She knows he would listen if she really wanted to talk but it's not really something that he would understand.

"Have you talked to Adam at all?" The question is out of her mouth before she realizes she is speaking.

Kevin just drops his head and glances sideways to look at her.

"No, not really. I don't think he is dealing with it though, just based on the last conversation we had."

"Well apparently, Hailey is getting through just fine." Kim muttered under her breath.

"What's that?" Kevin questions.

Kevin heard her but wanted to see if she will repeat it. He doesn't think she will and he is right.

He makes a mental note to ask Adam about that later. Man, why can't these two just talk to each other.

"Nothing. I need some coffee."

"Coming right up."

Kim thanks her lucky stars Kevin has dropped it for now.


	5. Chapter 5

The unit was called back to the district a couple hours later, one of the tips from gangs popped with a witness statement.

They all figured they had their guy and got ready to head down to the roll up to gear up.

Kim sees Hailey walk back to the locker room, she contemplated following her. She wanted to talk but she saw Adam head that direction in pursuit of Hailey and thought better of it.

Hailey can sense his presence as soon as she turns into the hallway. She wanted this conversation to be more private. They haven't had a chance to talk all day.

"Hey" Adam starts as they walk through the locker room doors.

"Hi" she replies somewhat embarrassed.

"I'm just gonna throw this out there but I'm guessing that by you sneaking out this morning, that you weren't as keen on it as I am?

Hailey let's out a big sigh. "Adam, given our conversation last night, about us not working last time due to the other people factor, do you think its wise to continue this again?"

Adam nods while he rubs his hand over his mouth. "I know."

"I think you need to talk to Kim, just like I need to talk to Jay. I appreciate that yours is a slightly more complicated situation but you guys already have the foundation. You were having a baby. Fight for her, I get where she is coming from but she will get through it, she just needs you to help her get to the other side."

That got bit more personal than Hailey was intending. Hopefully, Adam wasn't really concentrating on that.

Adam smiles, "She knows I love her, I don't know how else to help her."

"Just talk to her, you need each other right now." Hailey reaffirms.

"Thanks Hails."

Adam left the locker room and headed to the roll up to get his vest and gun.

Kim watches the stairs as Hailey comes down to the roll up not long after Adam and gets ready quickly. Had she not been watching their interactions all day like a hawk, she would have thought nothing of it.

* * *

They reached the suspects house. Rojas and Kevin were at the back door, Jay and Hailey were at the bottom of the front steps with Kim and Adam running point, getting ready to breech the front door.

Kim is the first in, she clears the room to the right and allows Adam to clear the next room as she moves through to the kitchen.

Kim finds the suspect in the kitchen with a hostage, a young girl. Kim yells, "drop your weapon!" The suspect just grins at her.

She can feel Adam approach behind her, while the rest of the team anxiously waiting outside the room, not wanting to spook him. As Kim and Adam have placed themselves in front of the only exit out of the kitchen.

Kim holsters her gun, Adam looks at her in disbelief.

"Hey, it's alright we just wanted to ask you some questions. Why don't you let her come to me."

The suspects grin fades as he laughs sadisticly. "You think I am an idiot? No way, lady."

Adam could tell this wasn't going to end well. The suspects mood had shifted now with a look of determination on his face, he wasn't being taken in. The suspect squeezes the trigger of the gun. After that everything slows down, it felt like an eternity for the trigger to be pressed, he sees Kims whole body standing in line with the gun. Adam started moving before he even heard the first shot and only saw Kim move with the second.

Adam took out the suspect with a head shot, the victim having shifted when the first shot rang out. Adam turns to Kim as the rest of the team bursts in to help.

She is laying on the floor, gasping for air. Adam feels and checks her for signs of blood. He sees the shot in her vest. The relief he feels is immense.

"Kim, it hit your vest, you are ok. "Adam reassures her. All she can do is nod as a tear trickles down her cheek.

"It's ok, we are going to get you to med and make sure you are alright."

The rest of the team is left to deal with the shooting as Adam rides with Kim.

* * *

The ambulance pulls into med and they pull the gurney out with Kim strapped to it. As they roll her into the ER with Adam following, Will Halstead sees the vest with Police on the front and takes the case. He is surprised to see its Kim, given she hasn't been back at work long.

"Hi Kim, I understand you took a bullet to the vest." Will asks.

"Yeah" Kim croaks out, still struggling to get a deep breath due to the bruising she is sure is already starting.

"Ok, let's get you moved into a room and we will get some x rays to see what we are dealing with."

The paramedics transfer Kim to an exam room as April, the nurse, comes in to get her vest off.

Adam sits in the room with Kim and just listens to her breathing. Kim senses, Adam wants to say something but is holding back.

"Just say what you are thinking, Adam." Kim whispers.

Adam's head pops up from staring at his feet, forearms laid on his thighs. He rubs his hands over his face as he sits up.

"You scared me to death again, today." Adam states.

Kim flinches at the again part.

"It's only been a couple weeks since...I'm sorry." Adam falters.

She knows he was going to say since the miscarriage. She just closes her eyes.

"That guy showed no indication that he would be talked down and you holstered your weapon. What were you thinking?" Adam says a bit more passionately.

Kim shrugs it off. "It worked out, Adam."

"This time it worked out. I don't want to see you do that again."

"I needed to feel something after everything that happened." Kim choked out.

That broke Adam's heart, his expression softened. "Why didn't you come to me? I'm struggling too."

Kim scoffed at that.

"I'm sure Hailey is helping you through your grief."

April walked in at that moment to take Kim for x rays.

Adam just stood there in shock as they wheeled Kim off to radiology.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read, commented/reviewed, favourited and followed this story. It means so much that you all are enjoying it! Very encouraging for my first story and perhaps will lead to more in the future. Continue to review!

* * *

_Adam was gone when they brought her back to her room, she didn't expect him to be there but hoped he would be._

_Her thoughts were interrupted when Will Halstead walked in._

_"Good news, nothing is broken, just some bruising. Just ice the ribs and take it easy for a few days." Will states proudly._

_"Great, so I am free to go?" Kim questions._

_"Yep, I'll get April to get your discharge paperwork ready."_

_"Thanks, Will."_

_"Kim, how you doing with everything else?"_

_Kim suddenly finds a spot on the blanket very interesting as she avoids Will's eyes._

_"I'm getting there." Kim glances back up at Will._

_Will nods. "You know Dr. Charles would be willing to sit down with you, if you wanted?"_

_"Thanks Will, I am still wrapping my head around it." She smiles tight lipped._

_"Ok, I'll get April going on the paperwork."_

_"Thanks."_

* * *

Kim gingerly walks to the freezer to swap out her ice pack, when their is a knock on her door.

She awkwardly pivots to answer the door as she places the ice pack on the counter.

The last person she expects to see when she opens the door is standing on the other side.

"Sean?!" Kim exclaims.

"Hi, Kim." He says as his eyes give her the once over.

Kim internally shudders at that.

"What are you doing here?" Kim asks.

"I'm just in town for a few days and thought I would look you up, it's been a minute." Sean replies.

"Yeah, it has. Um, come in."

"Sure, thanks."

"Can I get you anything?" Kim asks as she kicks into hostess mode.

"No, I am good, thanks." Answers Sean.

"How is California? What have you been up to?"

"California is good. The usual you know, working private security now. Mostly, d list celebrities." Sean chuckles.

"Oh yeah, good for you." Kim says honestly.

"Yeah, what about you? Seeing anyone?"

Kim is slightly taken aback by that question.

"Sean," Kim cautiously thinks over her answer, what is really going on? "Why are you here? It's been three years and we have barely talked in that time."

Sean hangs his head, while he rubs the back of his neck, trying to organize his thoughts.

"Kim, I know it's been a long time and that I didn't really leave you with reassurance of how I felt. Everyday that I have been gone, I have thought about you, I have picked up the phone and dialed your number countless times." Sean looks pained as he speaks.

Kim shakes her head in disbelief as she listens.

"Sean, you can't walk back in here three years later and expect me to feel the same way. I don't even think that what happened three years ago should have happened. I blew up any future I had with Adam to be with you and you left me!"  
Kim heatedly, starts pacing, her deep breathing making her ribs ache. She suddenly remembers the ice pack and walks to the freezer to get it.

As she gently places the ice pack on her ribs, Sean looks at her alarmingly, "what happened?" He steps to her and helps her sit.

"Took one to the vest, just bruised them, don't worry, Thanks." Kim says as she eases down to the couch, with Sean's help, as he sits down next to her.

Getting back to the conversation Sean asks, "so, our time together didn't mean anything to you?"

"At the time it did, I was so confused and I wasn't over Adam."

"And now? Are you over Adam now?" Sean implores.

"I don't think I'll ever be over Adam. Do I need to move on? Yes."

Sean perks up at this.

"So, I still have a chance?" Sean hopefully asks.

Kim shakes her head in disbelief. She needs to shut this down.

"No, had you even bothered to ask how I have been doing, you would know I've been super shitty." Kim unloads.

She lets all the pent up emotion she has been feeling out. The anger with herself for going into that room, for keeping Adam at a distance and for not even being sure she wanted this baby, Adam's and her baby. She had wished for that years ago, the family with Adam, and here now was the person that had put those doubts in her head back then.

"Did you know Adam and I were pregnant?" Kim questions Sean. "We weren't together but we were going to be a family."

"No, I had no idea. I'm sorry." Sean answers taken aback.

Kim just nods as her eyes glaze over.

"I will leave you alone, Kim. I just thought maybe I might still have a chance."

"I'm sorry, Sean, I am not sure we should have had the night we had. I can't have it happen again."

Sean nods, getting up to go to the front door.

"I'm sorry again, Kim." He says as he closes the door behind him and any future he had once with Kim.

Adam pulls up to Kim's building, he needs to explain about Hailey. He is about to get out of the car when he sees Roman, of all people, come out the door. He just puts the car back in gear and pulls away.

A/N: This chapter took a very different turn from where I wanted it to. The previews of the crossover of Sean threw me off, he looked rough, I just couldn't have these two hooking up in my story now. Lol you're welcome!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I just read Crazy Cupid by existential1rony and was inspired to write a valentines scene that came to me. Not exactly a super happy scene but it's at least Burzek in the same room...

* * *

Valentine's Day, a day she usually lived for, except for this year.

She was single, depressed and pathetic. No flowers, champagne or chocolates for her. Nope, she was sitting at Molly's at 3 pm drunk.

She isn't even quite sure how she got here. Kim looks around, she doesn't recognize the crowd in here yet, It's probably a good thing she doesn't.

5 hours later...

Stella Kidd is coming in for her shift at Molly's, she waves and says hello to the patrons as she makes her way to the bar.

One of the waitresses comes rushing up to her, "Stella, you need to see this!" As she hurriedly walks over to a corner booth way in the back.

Stella follows the eager waitress.

She sees Kim slumped over the table, hand barely holding her head from touching the wet and probably sticky table. She has tears silently streaming down her face and is mumbling something.

"Oh, Kim, Honey, do you want me to call someone?" Stella asks concerned. She is trying to think of anyone that Kim is close to, she knows she has gone for drinks with Sylvie and she definitely could use the extra medical hands but doesn't think it's who she needs.

Kim just nods wiping away her tears and mumbles "Adam."

"Ok, we can call Adam. Can you unlock your phone? I will call him for you." Kim nods as she puts her thumb in the centre button of her phone and passes it to Stella.

Stella notices her background photo is of her ultrasound and it breaks her heart, everyone had heard what had happened and felt for Kim and Adam. Stella quickly finds his name and pushes call.

The unit had just finished up a case and were due for a weekend off. For once, Adam wasn't the last one to leave. Vanessa and Kevin had plans for some singles mixer and left pretty quickly while Hailey and Jay both were still here. Adam couldn't wait to stop and pick up a pizza and beer and just relax. It had been a long week being a man down, he just needed some down time.

He threw his phone, wallet and keys on the top shelf of his locker, while he pulled on his jacket and hat. He shoved his wallet and keys, after starting his car, in his coat pocket. He grabbed his gym bag and phone just before he shut the locker door.

As he made his way down the back steps, his phone started ringing. He looked at the caller Id, it was Kim..., his stomach flipped in concern, she hadn't reached out to him once, something had to be wrong, he thought.

He hesitantly answered, "Kim? Are you ok?"

"Hi, Adam? This is Stella Kidd, firefighter from 51."

"Ok, is Kim alight? Why are you calling from her phone?"

"No , I don't think she is alright. I just started my shift at Molly's. I think she has been here awhile and she was asking for you."

That makes Adam panicky. She must be bad if she is asking for him.

"Ok, I am on my way."

"Thanks Adam, see you soon." Stella hangs up the call and puts the phone down next to Kim. Who is starting to look more and more like she is going to pass out.

Stella tries to get more information from the waitress about how Kim got to this state. The waitress swears she hadn't served her that much but her shift only started at 3 and she was already gone then. Stella was not happy.

Thankfully, Molly's is a quick drive from the station, faster if you use your lights.

Adam walks as quickly and calmly as he can into the bar. He sees Stella wave him back to a secluded corner booth, he gives her a nod and makes his way through the crowd.

He approaches the booth with some trepidation, unsure of what state he will find Kim in.

As he gets closer, he can see it isn't good. Kim is leaning on Stella as she is making sure she had gathered all of Kim's things up.

Stella sees Adam and says "oh good timing, I'm just making sure she has everything." As she passes Kim off to Adam. He takes her awkwardly, as Kim half falls into him.

Kim just turns to look at him and the tears start streaming once again. It's all he can do to not pull her close, kiss her forehead and tell her everything would be alright.

"Ok, I put everything I found in her pockets. I asked my waitress what happened but she didn't start till 3 and said she was pretty blitzed then. She didn't even serve her."

Adam nods, "She must have done some damage when she got here then. Four months of not drinking plus nothing in your stomach will get ya." He tries to downplay it. He knows, Stella knows what he is doing, he is glad she doesn't say anything back. "I'll get her home, let her sleep it off. Thanks for calling me."

"Of course." She sympathetically replies. She watches them go as her heart breaks for them.

Adam loads Kim into his car, once she is secured, he ducks out of the car to do a quick scan of the block, he thankfully doesn't see her car parked anywhere.

* * *

As they pull up to her place, he looks over to her slumped against his window. Her tears were now dry as she slept deeply.

Adam half carried half dragged Kim up to her apartment, she was out cold. He was surprised that the cops hadn't showed up, to anyone else it would look like he were carrying a dead body. He chuckled to himself at that thought.

Once inside her apartment he tossed her keys on the counter. He proceeded to pick her up and carry her bridal style through into her room. He gently placed her on the bed, thankfully it wasn't made, which now that he thought about it, it was odd, especially for Kim.

As he took off her boots and jacket and carried them to the front closet he took in her apartment, It was fairly tidy nothing in too much of a disarray. That was when he saw the ultrasound picture still hanging where it had been placed just a few weeks ago, the edges were creased and crumpled a little now, he guessed from her looking at it, his copy looked the same.

He walked back into her bedroom to check on her. She was sprawled out, her shirt having ridden up slightly, exposing the slight swell she still had to her belly. He smiles as he walked over to the side of the bed and as he knelt on the floor, he gently placed his hand on her stomach and let the tears fall.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there like that. It wasn't until Kim rolled away, he got up to make his way to the spare room to finally sleep. He paused on his way down the hall at the closed door, just resting his hand on it, before continuing to the room that was supposed to be his.

A/N: I am sorry I am struggling to get these chapters over 1000 words, I think I am losing steam. Let me know if you want to see Burzek end game or if I should wrap this up. I potentially have the ending completed if that what you want. If you want more then I can't promise I will get them posted as quickly. I am only usually 2 chapters ahead of what I post. let me know in the reviews or private message me and give your thoughts!

-M


	8. Chapter 8

Kim slowly opened her eyes, the light blinding her. She groans as she moves her head, to check the clock, it reads 11:00 am. She rolls and sits up, hand instantly going to her head, to stop it from spinning. She looks down to see herself fully clothed. How did she get here? She swears she remembers being at Molly's.

Advil, water and coffee in that order.

Kim clumsily made her way to the bathroom and found the door shut, She didn't remember closing it before she went out yesterday, that was weird. She turns the knob and pushes her way in. There she sees Adam standing over the toilet,his pants pushed down, holding his glorious self, taking a leak.

Kim is mortified and shocked as she shrieks. "What are you doing here!?" She is glued to the spot.

Adam replies with his cocky grin. "Morning darlin, how you feeling?" He says as he finishes up and zips his pants and goes to wash his hands.

"Rough, again what are you doing here?" Kim says with more intensity.

Adam dries his hands and opens the medicine cabinet to get her the Advil. He tosses it to her as he answers. "Stella called me from Molly's, said you needed to go home. I came and got you and took you home, I stayed in the spare room in case you needed anything."

Kim's face flushes. "Oh, I'm sorry to wreck your valentines plans." She pops the top off the Advil and swallows two tablets.  
She hands the bottle back to Adam to put back in the medicine cabinet.

He turns and leans against the sink.

Adam chuckles, "I didn't have any, beer and pizza alone, on my couch."

"Oh, again, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to have to drop everything for me." Kim says sheepishly, wondering what happened with Hailey then.

"That's what family does for each other, we show up when we are needed." Adam shrugs.

"Adam, we aren't family anymore..." Kim whispers.

Adam pushes off the bathroom vanity and goes to her, Kim unconsciously takes a step back, Adam tries not to let the hurt of that flash across his face. He continues the few more steps to get to her and wraps her in his arms, he feels her stiffen in the embrace at first, she then relaxes into it. This is the first real contact they have had since the miscarriage, he thinks.

Kim's arms slip around Adam as her head tucks itself underneath his chin. He places a kiss to the top of her head.

"Kim, nothing is going to change us being family, what we went through just makes that bond stronger, we need to lean on each other." Adam sighs.

"Are you mad at me for losing our baby?" She mumbles as she pulls back to look at him.

"No" Adam sighs, "is that what you thought this whole time?"

"How can you not be mad, I was supposed to protect it and I didn't. I'm mad at myself for putting myself in that situation." Kim begins getting worked up.

"Darlin, if you hadn't, you wouldn't have been able to forgive yourself either, if anything had happened to that girl. You also wouldn't be the great cop that I know you are." Adam explains.

Kim nods. "This wasn't what was supposed to happen. We were supposed to have a healthy baby still growing inside me. I know I wasn't sure what I wanted in the beginning but that baby was part of us and I loved it already." She starts crying as her hands go to her abdomen.

Adam pulls her back to him. "I know, I feel the same."

"I'm sorry I didn't let you in earlier to experience everything with me." Kim was letting everything out now.

"I was afraid of what it would mean for us. I didn't know where your head was at with all of it. You and Hailey hadn't even been finished that long and I didn't know what kind of relationship you guys had, clearly you are back together again now." She slipped that last comment in there and continued in her rant, Adam caught it and made a note to circle back to it later.

"Then I wasn't sure what I wanted from you, we didn't work last time, why would bringing a baby into the world together change that? Did I still feel that way about you? We were getting to be back into a good place trying to be friends, then that happened." Kim rambles off.

"Are you going to say anything here?" Kim barks.

"Sorry, you were on a roll and I didn't know if I should interrupt or not." Adam chuckles. "Do you feel better?"

"Not till I hear your response." Kim stubbornly remarks.

"To answer your questions.." He says as he finally guides them towards the couch and out of the bathroom doorway.

"As soon as you told me you were pregnant and I got over the shock of it, I wanted that baby. I just held back because you didn't know if you wanted to keep it, that time was tortuous for me. I wanted to be excited about it and you just weren't. As for the you part, I have always wanted you, you ended it with me. I have a deep respect for you, you are the most honest, down to earth, kind person I have ever met. When you love, you love with all your heart and it can sometimes scare you, which is what I think happened with us and with our baby."

"I was scared you would leave me...so I left you first." Kim whispered.

"Kim, is that really what you thought? I was in it for the long haul, wedding, marriage, kids, growing old with you. It's always been you, even when I was with Hailey, I could never see that with her. Speaking of Hailey, that is done, long done, it shouldn't have happened." Adam answered.

"I know you have been with her since, care to explain?" Kim says angrily.

"You shut me out, she was there." Adam shrugs. "I needed someone, Kim. I tried to be there for you, to be strong so you could be sad and angry and you shut me out. I dealt with it the way I knew how. I'm not saying it was the right way to deal with it but I'm not going to deny that it happened. I still am not sure how you knew about us?" Adam says honestly.

"You looked at her, you looked at her how you used to look at me..." Kim sniffles.

"Hailey and I broke up because our hearts weren't in it, at least not for each other. I didn't know where you were at with the Blair thing, then I went to jail and the Kelton shit happened. The night of the infection, it clicked for me, I needed and wanted to be with you. " Adam admitted.

"I do have one more thing that I need to know though..."Adam asked painfully.

Kim nods letting him know to proceed with the question.

"I saw Roman leaving your building the other there or was there anything that happened between you two then?" Adam rushes out,seemingly holding his breath waiting for her answer.

Kim's eyes go huge, as she sucks in a breath. "You were here?"

Adam nods yes, "I came to explain about Hailey."

"No, nothing happened with Roman. I didn't even know he was in town, he just showed up at my door. He claimed that I was all he thought about while he has been gone and that he wanted to try again. I told him that the first time around had been a mistake and one that I didn't want to have happen again. I also told him about the baby and that I would always love you." Kim chocked out.

Kim looks at him tears streaming down her face. "Do you still want to be with me?"

"Have you not been listening? Yes, Yes, I want to be with you, I have wanted that from the day you gave the ring back. What can I do to make you believe that?" Adam confesses.

"I don't know, I am not sure we can pick up where we left off. I don't know if I am even ready for all of it but I've never stopped loving you." Kim realizes.

"We can take it slow, start from the beginning so to speak." Adam tries to hide his excitement.

"That sounds good." Kim smiles.

* * *

A/N: I hope I did this reconciliation justice. I hope they get Adam and Kim talking more on the show. I just saw a clip of the crossover and even Roman has picked up on the tension with Kim and the unit...especially Adam. As I said this was where I was planning to wrap it up but it seems people want the story to continue so updates wont be as consistent as the rest of it isn't written yet but they will happen.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: spoilers for 7x15 I am so not really impressed if that was Adam and Kim's fight to work through things. Hope they have more, although you got to see where they are both at. Can't believe how casual she was to Roman telling him what happened.

* * *

A/N: I am not a medical professional so please do not take any of this as truth. Please consult an actual physician. Was that really the talk that Burzek was supposed to have? I hope more comes of that...

* * *

2 weeks later...

Kim is sitting in the waiting room at the doctor for a check up, between her ribs and the miscarriage she just needs to get the all clear and stay good for awhile.

The receptionist calls her name and leads her back to an exam room. "Ok, just undress, get the gown on and hop up on the table." The receptionist says happily to Kim.

As Kim lays there on the the exam table waiting for the doctor, she starts thinking how 6 months ago she would not have guessed she would be here now.

The doctor comes in interrupting her thoughts.

"Kim, hi, I'm Dr. Smith, how are you doing?" She asks sincerely.

Kim smiles, "I'm getting there emotionally and physically I am hoping I am there, It's why I am here today."

"Ok then, let's check that out." Dr. Smith pushes on low on her abdomen, feeling to see where her uterus is shrunk to. "You are finished bleeding,right?"

"Yes, last week it tapered off." Kim answers.

"Ok, your uterus seems to be where it should be." Dr. Smith says factually as she sits back down on her stool. Kim now sitting up. "Have you been sexually active since the bleeding has stopped?"

"No, I haven't had any desire to. I also wanted to get back on birth control before that happened." Kim confesses shyly.

"That's perfectly normal. For the birth control what method do you prefer? I see here in your chart you have been on the pill for some time. Did you want to stay with that or switch to something a little more dependable?"

"If I wanted to try for more children in the near future, which is the one that would be the easiest to stop and leave my system before trying?" Kim questions.

"How soon are you thinking? The shot and the iud's take about 6-12 months to have your cycle normalized after you have them stopped or removed." Dr. Smith states.

Kim thinks a moment. "I realized with this last pregnancy that as unexpected as it was, I am not getting any younger, so sooner than later, if that makes sense. I guess something more effective than the pill but not as invasive as the shot or iud?" Kim looks to Dr. Smith.

"Ok, that leaves us with the patch or the ring. They both have similar side effects of the pill but the frequency of usage is less. The patch you change weekly and the ring is monthly. The patch goes on either your arm, back, butt or tummy and the ring is an internal device. I can give you some pamphlets to read up on if you don't want to decide today. Just remember with both of those there will about a 3 month window in the beginning that you should use a second method of birth control as well." Dr. Smith smiles.

"Ok, I'll think about it, thanks for the information." Kim nods. "Can I get all the physical checks done now and just call in once I decide which one I want for the prescription?" Kim asks.

"For sure we can, let's get back laying down and feet in the stirrups. We will just get a quick Pap test and we will be good to go." Dr Smith says as she pulls on her gloves and starts putting the jelly on the speculum.

Kim grimaces, she hates these.

"Ok, I'll send that off to the lab and I am just going to write you a requisition for blood work that I want you to get done, prior to starting the birth control. I just want to make sure there is no possibility of pregnancy before you start the medication. If you don't have any questions, I will get out of here and you are free to get dressed and get on with your day." Dr. Smith chirps out.

"Great, thanks, I think I have everything I need. I'll read over the pamphlets and give your office a call once I have decided. Thank you again." Kim says, relieved that's done.

Kim walks into her apartment and throws the pamphlets in the counter. She heads into her bedroom to change into yoga pants, when she hears a knock at her door and makes her way back to answer it.

"Adam, hey, did we have plans?" Kim questions.

"No, I knew you had your follow up today and just wanted to make sure you were ok?" Adam asks as he walks in and closes the door behind him.

"Yeah, she said everything looks normal again." Kim says as she walks back to her room to change.

Adam sees the pamphlets on the counter for the birth control. His heart sinks a little. He knows it makes sense, especially if they are going to take things slow. He doesn't want to rush her into anything but this pregnancy has him thinking that he would like that family sooner than later.

Kim walks out of her room changed into a pair of yoga pants. She sees Adam looking at the pamphlets and feels she needs to explain herself.

"Adam" Adam's head snaps up, looking embarrassed that he was caught snooping. "It's just until I feel ready. I know I want a family, I just am still traumatized a bit and need to make sure I am ready up here." Kim points to her head. "Plus we agreed to go slow, not pick up where we were right?"

"I know, I know it's different for you too. It made me realize that I want that family and if it's with you it's even better. I just need to know that it's still on the table one day?" Adam sighs.

"Yes, it is. I am just not there yet, you will be the first to know." Kim smiles as she goes in to give Adam a hug. "Those options take the least amount of time to leave my system, so when we are ready,it hopefully won't take long."

"Thank you." Adam sighs as he kisses the top of Kim's head, while he holds her tighter.

"Would you go on a date with me, Kim Burgess?" Adam happily asks.

"I thought you would never ask!" Says Kim excitedly.

A/N: I am having some writers block and feel like this is a bit of a filler chapter. This is unedited so please excuse any mistakes.


End file.
